11:03 PM: once upon a time
11:03 PM: there was a village
11:03 PM: where the townspeople walked on their hands
11:03 PM: they had legs and feet
11:03 PM: but were never told how to use them properly
11:04 PM: the king made sure of this
11:04 PM: as he wanted his monarchy to be the fastest, most powerful of all
11:04 PM: so he walked on his feet
11:04 PM: his wife, the queen, walked on her feet
11:05 PM: and their son, the prince, also walked on his feet, although he was a toddler and fell quite a bit as toddlers do
11:06 PM: one day there was a wheelbarrow accident in the town
11:06 PM: and a wheelbarrow had fallen off its wheel and fell on its owner
11:07 PM: everyone yelled, but nobody could help him
11:07 PM: they yelled for the king
11:07 PM: who
11:07 PM: stomp
11:07 PM: stomp
11:07 PM: stomped
11:07 PM: over to where man was injured
11:07 PM: and lifed the wheel barrow up with one arm and pulled the man out with the other
11:08 PM: what a strong king!
11:08 PM: everyone in the town clapped their feet together
11:08 PM: well
11:08 PM: meanwhile,
11:08 PM: a townwoman was giving birth to a baby
11:09 PM: a baby boy named elias
11:09 PM: elias didn't know it, but he had had a curse put on him
11:09 PM: but an old hag from next door
11:10 PM: the old hag's husband was actually the father of elias
11:10 PM: and elias' mother had had an affair with the old hag's husband
11:10 PM: 9 months earlier
11:10 PM: so, elias had a curse put on him
11:11 PM: the curse was said in swedish, so nobody was really sure what the curse was about
11:11 PM: but they knew, as soon as elias popped out of the womb
11:11 PM: he had
11:11 PM: no
11:11 PM: arms
11:11 PM: !!!!!
11:11 PM: elias' mother screamed in horror
11:11 PM: because this meant, elias could not walk!
11:12 PM: if you remember, townspeople walk on their hands
11:12 PM: so poor elias
11:12 PM: did not have arms
11:12 PM: as he grew
11:12 PM: his legs, strangely, grew strong
11:12 PM: and his feet, strangely, grew big
11:12 PM: and strangely, he was able to walk
11:12 PM: ....
11:12 PM: on
11:12 PM: his feet!
11:13 PM: as a toddler, elias could run and jump and do all these amazing things that the townspeople had only dreamed of when they dreamed of their precious king
11:13 PM: he was able to do all these things! amazing!
11:13 PM: well, the king
11:13 PM: was FURIOUS
11:13 PM: he soon had ordered elias to be mutilated by dogs
11:14 PM: "TEAR HIS LEGS APART!"
11:14 PM: the king screamed
11:14 PM: well
11:14 PM: when elias was thrown into the pit of wild dogs
11:14 PM: the dogs were amazed with the lack of arms
11:14 PM: and even more amazed that elias could run and jump and twirl and dance!
11:14 PM: they immediately became his best friend
11:14 PM: (s)
11:15 PM: so elias and the dogs were buds and the king sure was sore!
11:15 PM: "FIND THE TIGER AND HAVE IT RIP HIM TO SHREDS!"
11:15 PM: he screamed
11:15 PM: elias was thrown into the tiger den
11:15 PM: and the tiger took one look at him
11:15 PM: and yawned a big yawn
11:16 PM: the tiger didn't care about elias one bit!
11:16 PM: he fell asleep right then and there, even with elias there as bait
11:16 PM: "GET THE STICKS! GET THE ARMY TO BEAT HIM WITH THE STICKS!"
11:16 PM: the king screamed
11:17 PM: the tied elias to a large pole
11:17 PM: and got the sticks
11:17 PM: BAMBAMBAMABAMBAMBABMABMABMABAMBM
11:17 PM: they beat him with the sticks
11:17 PM: and then BAMSPLAT!
11:18 PM: one of the armymen accidentally stuck a stick into elias' missing arm hole
11:18 PM: he tried to pull it out but it was a no go
11:18 PM: he couldn't get the stick out
11:19 PM: and the other army men were so amazed by this
11:19 PM: one of them said, "let's try it with the other side!"
11:19 PM: and they did it then too
11:19 PM: elias was in pain from this
11:19 PM: he couldn't take it
11:19 PM: and he shrieked and writhed
11:20 PM: and the binds were pulled
11:20 PM: and he was set free from the pole
11:20 PM: elias ran through the crowd
11:20 PM: and up to the old hag's house
11:20 PM: she was on her death bed
11:21 PM: "m'aam please. i know i know i am your husband's child, but i need your help."
11:21 PM: she must have been delirious
11:21 PM: because she said, "you have to help yourself."
11:21 PM: and as she said that she put her hand on one of the sticks
11:21 PM: and shook it as if it were a hand
11:22 PM: elias didn't realize what she was doing
11:22 PM: but she was changing the curse
11:22 PM: to a happy uncurse
11:22 PM: the sticks
11:22 PM: had become
11:22 PM: ARMS!
11:22 PM: and elias was able to move them
11:22 PM: and pick things up
11:22 PM: and he ran to the king
11:22 PM: and said "I AM JUST AS POWERFUL AS YOU! MAYBE MORE!!!!"
11:23 PM: and the king said, "YOU FOOL!"
11:23 PM: and elias ran up to him
11:23 PM: and stabbed him right in the chest with his stick arm
11:23 PM: BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
11:23 PM: the king was dead
11:23 PM: and elias taught everyone in the town to walk on their feet just as they should have in the beginning
11:23 PM: the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment